I'm going to change the world when I'm not tired



                            



I'm so tired. 
I'm always tired. 
On good days I'm still tired just more optimistic. 
Tomorrow I can sleep until 6:30am! Is it crazy that that is excites me? 

I lay and bed and think of all the ways I'm going to change the world and all the awesome thing I'm going to do with my life..but I'm tired.

Tomorrow I'll  pour all my energy Into my job and come home and I'm tired....

Define living life? 

If I love my job and love my family but my family is just who I come home to before bed, which is really the life I'm living? To me my home is my life and work is what I do to make my life better but I spend more time making it better than succeeding.

When I'm really unhappy I often relate my existence to that of an ant, part of this one giant mechanism playing my part and only existing ...everyone feels that right? 

 I feel like a terrible person when I'm tired, my brain shuts down, my emotions are stagnant and I'm not myself. 

I have a friend who is going through hell and back every day and the optimistic me want to take her a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates and all the answers in the world .....but I'm too tired. 

The thing is I can't fix it and that frustrates me, I can't punch life in the nuts for her. A lot of the time I don't even know what to say i don't even have any advice but I do love her, to the moon and back I do. 

How's that for a tangent....my brain is fried. 

1 comments:

  1. I can relate to that, sometimes getting through a day is so exhausting that doing anything to make my life better feels like too much.

    ReplyDelete

 

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